Day 5: The First Thing He Reached For

June 25, 2026

Wesley does this thing sometimes that absolutely wrecks me.

He'll grab your face with both hands so you can't look anywhere else and then just... stare into your eyes. Not in a creepy "Children of the Corn" kind of way. More like he's trying to pour every ounce of love he has into you without saying a single word.

It's impossible not to melt.

This morning I woke up to find him sitting quietly in his crib beside my mattress with his back toward me. I reached through the mesh and gently rubbed his back. He slowly turned around...

...and immediately reached for me.

It struck me that this was the very first moment of his day. Before he'd spoken a word..... before breakfast.... before cartoons... before anything else.. he simply wanted to love and be loved.

Then came the two-handed face grab...

...parental heaven.

Since Lola was upstairs having a sleepover with her friend, he had me all to himself. No competition..... no sharing.... just Dad.

Wesley feels everything with his whole heart. Happiness..... excitement.... frustration... anger.. There isn't really an in-between setting. His emotions don't politely knock before coming in. They kick the front door open and announce themselves to the neighbourhood.

The beautiful part is that when he's happy, the whole room feels happier.

The difficult part is when those emotions overwhelm him. Sometimes hitting..... pushing.... biting... those become his first response before words ever have a chance.

We've been helping him name those feelings and trying to co-regulate with him. Some days it works..... some days toddlers are gonna toddler.

Recently though, we had a little breakthrough.

Instead of immediately acting on those feelings he yelled, "I'm angry!"

I'll happily take that win.

Sure..... he also happened to be strapped into his car seat at the time, making some of his usual options significantly harder to execute.....

...but progress is progress.

The reason this matters so much to me is because I recognize those feelings. I still carry them myself. I'm 50 years old and there are still moments where emotions hit me harder than I'd like to admit. I don't want him to avoid sadness or anger. I've actually learned to embrace them. They're part of being human... part of living. I just hope he learns how to carry them a little earlier than I did.

Selfishly...

...I also wouldn't mind if these quiet morning cuddles never end.

Unfortunately, the sound of footsteps upstairs signalled the end of my uninterrupted Dad time.

Sad Papa.

The plan for today was beautifully simple.

Pack.

Leave around nine.

Drive five and a half hours to Fredericton.

Simple.

If you've ever travelled with three young kids.....

...you're probably already laughing.

We woke up a little later than planned. Sophie tackled getting the kids washed while I packed and somehow managed to repack the car for what I believe was the third time this trip. At this point I don't think I'm just good at packing. I think I've achieved Grandmaster status in Competitive Car Tetris. Somewhere in Europe there's probably a championship waiting to be won by this ninja packer.

I'm ready.

The kids happily devoured leftover sausages for breakfast without a single complaint.

I didn't ask questions.

When your children willingly eat leftovers, you simply accept the gift.

While finishing up we chatted with Sophie's friend about a woman she'd been following online who'd built a community simply by sharing the everyday realities of raising her adopted children. Nothing flashy..... nothing manufactured.... just real life.

Somehow my name entered the conversation.

Maybe retirement could include doing more of what I'm already doing..... sharing stories.... connecting with people.

Interesting thought.....

...definitely one worth unpacking after the vacation.

Our planned 9:00 departure quietly became 11:30.

Again....

...those numbers aren't actually related when children are involved.

Not five minutes into the drive I realized I was hungry.

So naturally...

...our first stop happened almost immediately.

Travelling with three kids has this fascinating effect on space and time. Every stop somehow creates two additional stops. Five hours slowly becomes six..... six becomes seven.... and I'm fairly certain if we'd kept driving long enough we'd eventually arrive yesterday.

Normally that wouldn't have mattered much.

Except I had plans to see my cousin.

Calling him my cousin almost feels inaccurate. He's more like the brother life forgot to officially assign me.

The original plan was supper together in Fredericton before catching Supergirl. As our ETA drifted further and further into fantasy, we adjusted. Instead we'd meet in Woodstock where he and his family live..... grab some takeout..... let the kids burn off enough energy to power a small city..... then both make the drive to Fredericton afterward.

Problem solved.

Well.....

...mostly.

Wesley also decided naps were for amateurs.

For hours we negotiated.

He declined every offer.

It wasn't until the final forty minutes before Woodstock that exhaustion finally won.

Sometimes parenting is simply waiting longer than your child.

We grabbed Pizza Hut while my cousin picked up Subway before meeting at an incredible park. There were three different play structures..... swings.... a zipline... basically Disneyland if your annual operating budget came from municipal taxes.

The kids looked at their pizza like it had been infected with Ebola before disappearing toward the playground. Apparently a zipline outranked pizza that day.

Lola and my cousin's daughter were shy for all of five minutes. Then suddenly they were chasing each other around the playground, calling each other's names like months hadn't passed since they'd last seen one another.

Meanwhile, the adults finally got to do the same thing.

Sophie caught up with his wife while he and I bounced from movies..... to parenting.... to life... to whatever random thought wandered into the conversation.

One of those conversations turned into next year's vacation.

He suggested that instead of hotels we rent a cabin somewhere and let the kids spend a week together.

I loved the idea immediately.

Sophie loved it even more.

She's notorious for planning our next vacation.....

...while we're still on the current one.

Time moves differently when you're with people you care about. One minute you're sitting down to eat..... the next you're looking at your watch wondering how it's already almost eight.

If we were going to make the 10:00 showing of Supergirl, it was time to move.

We hugged.

Said our goodbyes.

Then we drove nearly an hour...

...just so we could end up sitting beside each other again.

Funny the things we'll do just to spend a little time with the people we love.

The last stretch wasn't too bad. Poor Finn had officially reached his limit though. He's only two months old..... that's a long day in a car seat for anyone, let alone someone who's only been on Earth for eight weeks.

He spent the final twenty minutes letting us know exactly how he felt about it.

Loudly.

Driving days are tough on everyone.

Especially Sophie.

She does about 99% of the driving in our family..... including this trip. Long drives and I aren't exactly friends. Somewhere around the three-hour mark my brain starts looking for the emergency exit while my eyelids begin negotiating against me. Neither are particularly helpful behind the wheel.

I'm incredibly grateful she's willing to carry that burden. It's one of those quiet things she does that makes adventures like this possible. The rest of us get to experience the trip.....

...because she gets us there.

When we reached the hotel our now well-practised pit crew routine kicked into action. Sophie checked us in while I strategically parked as close to the entrance as possible. The kids followed Mom to the room while I emptied what looked suspiciously like the entire contents of our house into the room.

Inside, Sophie transformed a standard hotel room into family headquarters. Crib assembled..... pyjamas laid out.... toiletries unpacked. Meanwhile the kids discovered cartoons were already on television and immediately entered the hypnotic trance known to parents everywhere.

By the time I carried in the last bag it was 9:30.

Movie started at 10.

There wasn't a chance in hell the kids were going to be asleep before I left.

I was really hoping Sophie hadn't come to that same realization.

Unfortunately for me.....

...she's an intelligent woman.

She definitely knew what was up.

I played dumb.

A famous parenting technique used by husbands around the world.

The funny thing is.....

...everyone knows it's fooling absolutely no one.

I offered a few completely unnecessary last-minute parenting tips, kissed everyone goodbye and headed for the theatre while my cousin periodically texted reminders that he was completely dependent on me for the tickets.

No pressure.

I pulled into the parking lot at 9:55.

Five whole minutes early.

That's what I call flawless planning.

We grabbed our movie snacks, found our seats and discovered they reclined.

Excellent.

Now the movie had two enemies.

The villain...

...and two exhausted dads.

Thankfully the movie was entertaining enough that neither of us lost the battle.

When the credits rolled we wandered out to the parking lot and stood beside our cars talking for another hour.

Funny how distance disappears once you're standing beside someone you love.

My cousin drove a total of two hours that evening..... just to watch a movie and catch up on life.

That's a pretty incredible gift.

I'm lucky to have people like that in my life.

When I finally made it back to the hotel sometime after one in the morning, everyone was asleep. Wesley had developed a cough that sounded suspiciously like croup and every now and then he'd let out one of those unmistakable barks. Thankfully he never seemed to wake himself up.

I scribbled down a few notes about the day before quietly crawling back into bed beside the people who had made every delay..... every detour.... every change of plans... completely worth it.

Funny how the day had started with one little boy reaching for the people he loved...

...and ended with a grown boy crawling back into bed beside his entire world.

Little did I know the night still had a few surprises waiting for us.

Life is still beautiful.